Friday, March 16, 2012

Memories


So before starting all the new excitement for Prom 2012, the memories from last year  come back, flooding my head with all sorts of emotions. The biggest thing I can remember was that even through all of the rough patches, I had a great time! The next thing I remember was being heartbroken. 

I asked my crush to prom. He was different than most guys that I hung out with. He dressed different, talked different, he was just something I never had to deal with before, I loved it. I loved the anticipation of what he was going to ask next. I was so set in thinking he liked me, after all my best friend had told me that he did. I'm sure everyone knew that I wanted to ask him, consent questions from them asking "did you ask him yet?" "You better hurry and ask him before someone else does" Finally I had enough of hearing this so I did it. I still remember that day so vividly. I still feel my hands sweating, my knees weak, my mouth so dry. I hear the words come out of my mouth, there in the air as I see him tie his shoes, seeing the school busses in the background. "I don't really want to go to prom...this year" Those words hitting me, like someone punched me in the gut. I say something back, laugh and leave. My dad yells at me for being late. I just sit there quietly. He continues, I start crying, not because of my dad yelling but because of rejection. I blamed it on a headache. I went home wanting to just curl up and cry (which made me even more mad because I promised myself I would never cry over a guy). My sister not letting that happen. She kept bugging me to watch TV with her, or to let her take a nap with me. I finally told her what happened. Then she surprised me, my little sister took me into a hug and talked. She told me that I was beautiful and screw him, he wasn't worth it. She helped me through it. 

That memory effects me to this day, I know that I won't be asked to the prom. No one likes me that way. So I want to ask this amazing guy, but I am afraid he will say no. I am afraid he will end up being like the last guy I cared so much about. What am I going to do....the truth is, I don't know.

What's This Blog All About?

This blog is going to be my record of my senior year prom. I want to document this journey and be able to look back on this in the future. I am new to blogging so bare with me. So I want to tell everyone as much as I can, without getting creepy stalkers (haha, yeah like who would stalk me but you never know). So to keep things basic, I am 17 year's old, I am a senior in high school. That is about it. Anyways, I want to post the real things about what is happening. I might post pictures at the end of me and maybe a date (if I have one) but we will see. I don't really care if anyone even looks at this blog. Its for me anyways but if there are people out there willing to listen, welcome to blog! I hope you enjoy this crazy ride!