Memories

So before starting all the new excitement for Prom 2012, the memories from last year  come back, flooding my head with all sorts of emotions. The biggest thing I can remember was that even through all of the rough patches, I had a great time! The next thing I remember was being heartbroken. 

I asked my crush to prom. He was different than most guys that I hung out with. He dressed different, talked different, he was just something I never had to deal with before, I loved it. I loved the anticipation of what he was going to ask next. I was so set in thinking he liked me, after all my best friend had told me that he did. I'm sure everyone knew that I wanted to ask him, consent questions from them asking "did you ask him yet?" "You better hurry and ask him before someone else does" Finally I had enough of hearing this so I did it. I still remember that day so vividly. I still feel my hands sweating, my knees weak, my mouth so dry. I hear the words come out of my mouth, there in the air as I see him tie his shoes, seeing the school busses in the background. "I don't really want to go to prom...this year" Those words hitting me, like someone punched me in the gut. I say something back, laugh and leave. My dad yells at me for being late. I just sit there quietly. He continues, I start crying, not because of my dad yelling but because of rejection. I blamed it on a headache. I went home wanting to just curl up and cry (which made me even more mad because I promised myself I would never cry over a guy). My sister not letting that happen. She kept bugging me to watch TV with her, or to let her take a nap with me. I finally told her what happened. Then she surprised me, my little sister took me into a hug and talked. She told me that I was beautiful and screw him, he wasn't worth it. She helped me through it. 

That memory effects me to this day, I know that I won't be asked to the prom. No one likes me that way. So I want to ask this amazing guy, but I am afraid he will say no. I am afraid he will end up being like the last guy I cared so much about. What am I going to do....the truth is, I don't know.